Body Story Part Two: Love And Respect

Body_part2

So Last week I shared Part One of my Body Story. If you missed it you can read about it here. I consider Part One, my crazy, desperate and the ungrounded part of my story and I’m so thankful that I’m not there anymore. So on to Part Two, the place where I found peace in my relationship and was able to love my body I even respect it, and every choice I make is in honour and service to it. Here it goes.

The beginning of my new outlook on my body, healing my relationship with emotional eating and creating a life where I feel more free, began when I transitioned my practice to its current location back in 2012.

Sheldon and I had just moved into our house, and constructed a clinic there so that I could work from home and begin to create a life that had an opening for a baby. This was about 6 months after our wedding and I was no longer doing the crazy diet thing, so a bit of weight had crept back on, but this time I was just over it. I wanted to focus on balance and feeling good rather than restriction, cleanses and intense exercise.

101_0357I was already diagnosed with Hashimotos, so I started to really get at the information and try to eat a way that felt good for my whole body, I wanted to help nourish my body and eventually my baby. For me this was getting a lot more rigid with not eating gluten and then playing, I like to cook, I enjoyed making nourishing food and trying new recipies. I was probably 5-10 lbs more than I would have liked but I knew that I was doing this differently, so I was trying to not focus on it.

And that’s when I stumbled on Sarah Jenks’ Blog. Reading about her adventures every week and listening to her tips were so refreshing. My body and my mind were both saying yes, and so after returning from our honeymoon where I ate myself through Europe, eating croissants, pizza, gelato, and pasta (not gluten free) every day for 3 weeks and I probably gained 10 lbs while doing this, I decided to enrol in Sarah’s Live More Weigh Less Mastery program.

And that moment feels like the true turning point for me and my relationship with my body.

As I mentioned in the Real Talk Videos, I also found out I was pregnant during the program, Sarah and the women in the community were truly a support system for me through the first few scary months.

pregnancy1Using Sarah’s principles and knowing that weight loss was off the table at that point allowed me to really get to know me and what I really wanted. I finally had a moment when my body, my heart and my mind could be one and I didn’t feel like I had to separate any of them.

And, I didn’t want to binge and purge anymore, In any capacity, physically or emotionally and the principles of this program really supported me in this decision.

I also came to the realization that I didn’t want to treat my body and my weight like it was my second job for another moment. I have way more interesting things that I want to think about and do then fret about what I look like and question if I’m good enough.

I wanted to do all of the things that were on my list for later, when I was thin and happy enough.

And spending time with Sarah, helped me blow the door wide open on all of that. I got to enjoy my pregnancy, honour my cravings and also be grounded in getting good nutrition for myself and Little E.

Other examples of me Living More are planning family trips and going on retreats for myself, having a closet full of clothes that fit me and make me I feel beautiful, I take the time to eat and I enjoy my indulgences, and I created a schedule and work life that actually fuels me rather than depletes, and I started writing, this blog and a fertility program that will be launched this year and eventually a book.

But most importantly I feel more free, free to love, free to care and really apply attention on to the areas that I choose rather than felt obligated. I carry way less guilt about what I want in any capacity of my life.

I also got to use the same principles after Little E was born and not buy into the crap that is out there telling women that we need to remove every physical reminder that we had a baby in our bodies after 6 weeks, and truthfully a lot of my healing from my postpartum depression was through using Sarah’s directions and finding myself again amidst all of my roles and life circumstance.

I got to embrace and love my stretch marks from carrying Little E the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I cried when they started to show up, but now I kinda like them. Something that I would have never said or found peace with without the help of Sarah. In fact, I actually had my stomach photographed for my own personal keepsake. I remember making the decision to not wait to do this when I reached a certain goal in my weight. I wanted to find love for them as they were in that moment.

And, I felt HOT, when those photos were taken, It was definitely a YEAH ME Moment!

About nine months after Little E arrived, I lost my “baby weight” though my body is very different then it was. I’m still a ways from a size 2, I don’t know if I will ever get back to there.

untitled-167Instead, I have a grounded respect for my body and my current life, working in my practice that I love, having a rambunctious toddler running around and exploring what else I want from this life. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s not spending every last second of my free time in the gym or measuring my food.

And I’m okay with that. This year, I volunteered to me a LMWL mentor so I get to support everyone that enrols in program on the forum, and part of that commitment has been re-listening to the LMWL modules before it starts up again.

Through this re-listening it has brought this message back to me with stronger resonance, though I don’t know exactly how much if I were to guess I would say about 10 lbs, but I know I’m smaller since even this January when those videos were shot.
All just by Living More and honouring what my body needs, including more Fun and more of Me in my life. So it works, if you let it.

Sarah’s Live More Weigh Less Mastery opens up for enrollment today at 10am EST. If you are ready to take this journey and be supported by me, then I recommend that you take a look. You can enrol by clicking here

Remember, that if you want to receive my Bonus Offer of free sessions either Fertility Coaching or Acupuncture sessions, you need to use this link here as your way in, once I have confirmation that your order has been processed I will be in touch to get our sessions scheduled.

If you want to talk about it or have questions, then reach out. I would love to help you figure out if this is the right decision for you.

In the comments below, I want to hear from you, If you weren’t always thinking about your weight, what would you finally say yes to?

XO
Ashley

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