How many times do you catch yourself saying that your too busy? Too busy to grab coffee with a girlfriend, too busy to schedule that much needed massage or acupuncture session (wink, wink) and too busy to do that thing ______ (fill in the blank to whatever you have been putting off for the last 3 months saying some day when I have time).
Well my friend, lets reframe this for a moment shall we, because trust me when I say this,
Being BUSY is a CHOICE,
And everything else that you are putting off just isn’t a priority for you right now, lets repeat that shall we.
IT’S NOT A PRIORITY!
It’s the truth, and it’s OKAY. Our priorities shift when babies, homes, and family come into our lives and it’s important to recognize that and honour the time and attention that they need.
Like when you have a brand new baby or even a toddler, actually it doesn’t matter what age your kids are, your priorities shift to looking after them, spending time with them and really not much else gets done. It’s supposed to be that way.
But what if, in the realization of Busy being a choice, you are sitting here reading this and saying, but I want more time for me to be a priority, or I really want to make date night happen every 2 weeks, or I really do want to scrapbook my babies first year (not my thing, I have one but it’s still in the box, but maybe its yours and you really want to do it).
Then I invite you to choose it.
Here are a few starter questions that you can begin to ask yourself to get your priorities realigned.
What do you want to do?
What do you need to do in order to make activities or events that you enjoy happen?
What areas or activities need to be dealt with so that you feel like you have some time?
Aside from you, who can you delegate these tasks to?
What do you need to say NO to?
Is there something that you’re doing now that could have less of an importance in your schedule or calendar? Does it even have to be there, or can it be let go completely.
The truth is, we often get caught up in schedules and activities because that is what’s always been done or everyone else is doing it so you should be to. But if it’s not serving you and your bigger desires in this life, or you’re simply not loving it, then why are you holding on to it for the sake of being busy?
It can be scary to say NO, or ask for help, or even schedule FREE TIME in your calendar with no real agenda as to what that will look like, but you have to remind yourself of the greater goal. For a minimal amount of discomfort in a moment, you get to dive deep into something that gives you pure joy.
So in case you’re wondering here are a few things that I have stopped, delegated and then invited into my life in the last little while.
Self-care appointments, for me this is usually an acupuncture session with my acupuncturist and mentor. I have moved my schedule around so that I can devote an entire morning to spending time in a coffee shop writing, going to see my acupuncturist and then either having a beautiful lunch out or put extra care and attention into a meal at home. I came to realize that I needed more time than just the time it takes for an appointment, so I have carved out a little extra to savour it, I get more out of my treatment and I get a chance to check in with me.
I hate cleaning, we are between cleaners at the moment, but this is one that is an absolute must for me and it makes such a difference for me and my free time where I can be present to Little E on the weekends instead of trying to wash floors and clean bathrooms. More on this in my post about my house keeper making me a better mother
Quiet Time, Sheldon and I trade off bedtime and stories every other night so that each of us can take a little time for ourselves on our nights off. We each also take one night a week off each of the whole night routine. Sheldon is usually going to hockey and I switch it up with girl-dates, and mastermind calls and a few new offerings happening in January.
We have a planned Date night, once a month minimum. Right now, Little E goes to my mom’s for a sleep over, and I’m almost ready to hire a baby sitter so that we can go out for a nice quiet dinner or do something fun and connect.
Creating Art, Instead of being half-interested in a TV show and being on my phone, I have my easel set up in the living room so that I can paint, while spending time with Sheldon. I get to make art hang out with my man at the same time.
Saying No to Good Stuff sometimes, I turned down an opportunity to hang out with a dear friend of mine, so that I could bake and colour with Little E. I had been traveling the week before, and I was exhausted and I could tell that my little guy really missed me. Our get together, was going to be short and a bit rushed because we both had other stuff happening and even though I really wanted to see her. It was best to just say No, I hung out with my guys, made yummy snacks for the week, got caught up on a few things at home and made plans to see each other the next week, when we had more time, where we could actually relax into the time and catch up.
Sometimes what we want to do takes up a lot of time, and other times it doesn’t.
When we choose whats a priority in our life we give ourselves permission to get creative on how we can do them.
I invite you to take a few minutes and think about the activities or actions that aren’t making the cut right now and decide if they’re a priority or not. If they’re not, stop making yourself feel guilty for not getting to them, you don’t want to and that’s okay. Whatever is left, break out your calendar and start putting them in. When are they happening? Who are they with? and What support do you require?
In the comment’s on the blog I would love to hear about the activities that you are making a priority in your life.