The past few weeks, in my newsletters I have alluded to the fact that 2015 so far has been exceptionally challenging. Like anything, some of what is happening is great! Lots of opportunities are coming my way for my business and my greater vision of my life and those around me and then some has down right sucked. (Sign up below if you want in on the inside scoop).
Our household is currently in “The Year of Germs” because Little E is now in a traditional Daycare with lots of snotty kids and now my kid is one of them. It’s gross, we’ve never really had to deal with this. Sheldon and I rarely get sick, and up until now Little E has been the same way.
But, its one of those seasons of life that kids immune systems have to go through. I learnt this the hard way when I nannied in university. The first year is terrible, and I have had to accept that this is where we’re at, even with lots of remedies and tricks up my sleeve to help, we just have to get through it.
What’s its meant, is that my life as a mom is even busier, Little E is way more needy than usual and Sheldon and I have had to create more flexibility in our schedules to make sure everyone is being looked after and work is still getting done.
Except there aren’t any more hours in a day, and I will not take any time away from my evening family time, my night time routine or my sleep. These are non-negotiable’s in my life.
So what goes?
Well like pretty much every woman and mom I know, we take it from the time we set aside for ourselves. Our self-love and self-care go out the window for the greater good.
Which is totally fine, except we berate ourselves when we do it and then compare ourselves unfairly with another women who we think has it all together and place disastrous expectations about how we are going to do better.
Well, how’s that working for you?
It probably isn’t, I know it’s not working for me. I got to see this as clear as day recently when my trainer suggested I do this simple exercise everyday for 30 days. It takes like 5 mins and requires no equipment I can do it anywhere. On top of that it makes me feel amazing when I do it, but I did it for like 3 days then never again.
We talked about it, the next time I saw her and she mentioned that every single woman she gave this exercise to didn’t meet the challenge. Why, it’s not because we’re not motivated, it’s not that we don’t believe in the goals we set for ourselves.
It’s because we are trying to pour more water into an overflowing cup. It can’t be done.
No Way, No How, there is no room in the cup until you pour something out.
This concept applies to everything. I want to work out more, I want to drink more water, I want to eat healthier, I want to [fill in the blank]
Changing habits are not a natural process for humans, we are not hard-wired for them. So initially they require some effort and a lot of brain power. So if its even the least bit inconvenient and something else that requires your attention that is already in the mix your new goal is out the window before you even get out of bed.
Now, you may be thinking, but there are lots of people that somehow make this happen or perhaps you could do this like when you were younger. You’re absolutely right. Some people have the ability to override their tendencies to quit or let it go because they can connect to the vision a little better and when you were younger this is the same energy, it’s what drives our younger teenage and young adult lives. (We will talk about this in post’s to come so you can re-harness this energy in your life)
But for now, for the majority of us,
We need space, time and our cup to be a little less full.
So what does this mean, because I’m certainly not saying just give up. Your desire to make a change whatever that is, is important, something about it connects you to the greater vision that you have for yourself. It’s important, so keep recommitting to what’s possible.
But, you more than likely need to let something else go.
It could be a pretence of perfection that you’re trying to uphold, or maybe it’s a task that you know you hate doing but refuse to let anyone else do it, continually saying yes to projects and deadlines that are a little beyond what’s doable, one too many activities for your kid. It can be anything.
If you closed your eyes, and took a deep breath I’m sure a couple of things on your list are screaming at you that you would rather not deal with.
Can you delegate them? Are they necessary? What if you allowed yourself more time to complete them?
How much time and space do they create in your life if they weren’t there or had different expectations around them?
Now, there may be things that just can’t go and your cup is still too full. THAT’S OKAY, cut yourself some slack.
Our lives go through seasons that require our attention in different ways. It’s life, and sometimes we have to respect ourselves to go with the flow and do the best we can. If your baby needs you then that’s your priority.
Loosen the reigns and create the space to allow the vision of your great life to move through you rather than fight to apply it. When it’s right, it will click and you will make it happen.
So this is where I’m at, I’m in “The Year of Germs” and that means Little E is going to need me in a different capacity and possibly take up way more of my time which is exactly how it should be. So I’m creating more space in my practice. I’ve dropped down to 3 days instead of 4 so that I have a day to myself to go to appointments, carve out time for self-care and take care of the business side of my practice.
I am also extending my deadlines for projects, and I’m choosing to eat well like I always have, work out when I can and not worry about my extra 15 lbs until I have a little more time, if it goes away in spite of me I will of course be ecstatic but I’m not willing to let it take up any room in my cup.
In the comments below, I would love to know what you need to pour out in order to give attention to your priorities and greater vision.
XO
Ashley
Photo taken by Tracy Griffiths @ Agape Studio
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