Sometimes Saying No Equals Growth


For the better half of 2014, I have been preoccupied with housekeeping.  Not literally, of course keeping up with my home is ongoing especially with busy lives, a toddler and a dog, but I’m talking about cleaning and clearing my mind, schedule and getting in touch with my priorities.
Saying No
I am a chronic over-committer, I actually hear myself saying yes before someone even gets their full question out.  I love saying yes; I get so excited about the opportunities and growth that I can experience.  While this attitude makes me likeable it was starting to take its toll on me, my relationships and what I cherish the most.  Instead of learning and growing, I was rushed just trying to get through, doing things at the last minute and not enjoying myself or able to take any of it in.

I was completely unaware that I did this until Baby E was well on his way.  For me having a baby has made time slow down and coming to this realization was a painful lesson.  It seems opposite to what most people say, but before Baby E I lived in overdrive, moving from one thing to the next and When Baby E first arrived I couldn’t do that anymore.  I was constantly battling, trying to keep up with my old routine, expectations and accomplishments while also caring for a newborn and recovering from labour.  I was miserable, every day I set myself up for failure.  I felt like I got nothing done and I wasn’t completely present with Baby E either.  I wish it didn’t take me as long to surrender to my new reality and say just say No every once in a while.

Since learning this very valuable lesson, I have had to simplify and say No a lot and instead spend much of the year clearing and completing shelved projects and courses, taking my time to enjoy them before starting anything new.  I have also had get creative with my schedule; maximize my time that I spend working with patients, writing and creating programs and resources to share with you, carving out some me time and making time to spend with Baby E.  By doing this I have cleared an entire day in the middle of the week to spend with him, its sacred and I never want to take it for granted.

The growth that I have experienced from this simple word has been amazing, and its provided me with the ability to pause, feel in to an opportunity to see if it’s a fit, and even if it’s a fit, I now ask, is it the right time, another very important lesson that I have learned from this exercise.  There are amazing opportunities every single day, and even if they are perfect for me, right now might not be the best time for me to really experience it at its full potential.  When I do say Yes, I can wholeheartedly do so and know that its has perfect timing, I can immerse myself into the experience and say Yes to me at the same time.

If saying No, is a difficult thing, I encourage you to start practicing it now. Don’t wait.

In the comments below, tell me is saying No difficult for you? When you do say it, how does it feel?


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