Your Self Worth Isn’t Tied To Your Dress Size


This week I was preparing for a photo shoot and I’ve been pulling outfits together along with all of the necessary accessories.  It’s not my favourite thing to do but now that I’ve done a couple of these I’m getting way more comfortable.  Largely, because I’ve let go of needing to be a size 2,4,6,8, whatever, AND choose clothing that fits well regardless of what the label says and having a closet that reflects my personality and personal style.  I actually love choosing clothes and getting dressed each morning.

Before I wouldn’t even look at a top or pants unless I knew that I could fit into a certain size, I would get mad if I had to go a size up (taking an immediate hit to my self esteem) and be extra ecstatic when I found myself needing a smaller size (celebrating like the heavens opened up for me exclusively in that moment).  I can’t count how many times I just bought a shirt not because I loved it, but because it was a size smaller than I normally would wear.  Crazy right?! (but I’m willing to BET that I’m not the only one that’s done this)

So, as I was heading out to pick up a few missing pieces I got to thinking.  A women’s size is just not something we are supposed to talk about, but we hold SO MUCH energy vying for the next size down because we feel self-conscious about what we are right now and then usually we do everything we can to conceal it from everyone else.  Men are told a million times as they mature to NEVER ask a woman this question, so that they can avoid receiving an icy stare from the women that they love, but SIZING is something that we really need to talk about.

about-element-collageAnd, the number one reason why is because IT IS RIDICULOUS! and trying to attain the same size in all of your clothing is impossible.  It’s the one of the reasons why we are all so crazy, I swear!  This goes for every women, short, tall, petite, athletic, curvy, It just doesn’t matter what size you are, all of us are constantly at odds trying to find clothes that we like and that fit well.

So in the name of absolute transparency, I’m sharing the size of every single piece of clothing from my last huge shoot, which provided me a ton of clarity on this issue and an ability to see through the size war out of my life once and for all.  I  choose clothing that I adore, feel beautiful in and fit me really well regardless of the size.

And because of that, I have a closet that ranges from Size 4 – 10 depending on the fit, if it is sleeveless, has buttons or zippers and what its purpose is in my everyday life.

When I head out shopping I now grab 3-4 sizes of the same top and try them all, I don’t pay attention to what the label says I’m only concerned with how it fits and if I like it or not.

So here we go….

First I went to a proper lingerie store to be fitted for a bra, the girls have changed a lot since Little E, so it was important to get undergarments that fit properly, it makes a world of difference to the way clothes fit.  If your going to invest in anything start there.

Earth Outfit: AG Skinny Jeans : Size 28, Blue J-Crew Top: Size 6, J-Crew Blazer Size 10,

Wood Outfit: BCBG Top Size Small, Free Black Faux Leather Leggings Size 8.

Metal Outfit: Tallulah Cream Cardigan Size Medium and my underwear

Water Outfit: BCBG Gown Size 10, (originally we were choosing a different gown and because of the way it fitted I would have  had to wear a Size 14 (it would need to be altered in order to fit the girls in and also my waist.  Same designer, same body, immensely different sizes)

Fire Outfit: Red Adrianna Pappel Dress Size 8.

So there you have it, looking at it all written here at that particular moment my average size here is a size 8.  Which a little while before that I would have been mortified to admit.  But in that moment, I loved every piece of clothing, I was having a great time and actually LOVED being in front of a camera.

So here’s the thing, a particular size can not be used as an absolute, it’s just not going to happen and what ever you are vying for in order to feel happy and confident you can’t use a number as a gold standard to you having it all together.  It actually has nothing to do with it.  Sounds clique but confidence and beauty radiates from the inside out, not the other way around.

So rather than worrying about the size, perhaps its more important to develop your style.   It might already exist in your closet or perhaps you just need a few tips.

My dear friend Melanie Kluger of the style blog Head Over Heels with Melanie teaches women the importance of how loving 
your unique personal style can help you in every other part of your life.  I absolutely love her, I have learnt so much from following her blog over the past year.

Melanie has just released her signature program, The Confident Closet including a Free Three-Part training Series, and she just announced her 6 week online course to purge, organize, and build a wardrobe for confidence and personal style.

Yellow PumpsThrough weekly videos, beautifully designed PDFS, bonus material from amazing experts in their field and an incredible supportive, private FB group, The Confident Closet leads you to a more authentic style.

This course is designed for the woman who only wants to clean out their closet with ease, but to gain self confidence in their personal style in the process. Anything can be accomplished when you feel confident in your style, and The Confident Closet helps you get there. This course covers it all.

From hair and makeup tips, to closet purging, organization and shopping, The Confident Closet helps you make a huge shift in your closet, unique style and confidence level.

If you want to check out her Free Videos or her course check it out here.

In the comments below, I would love to here, does the whole sizing issue hold you back from developing your style?




*I am a proud affiliate of The Confident Closet, if you choose to purchase her program I may receive a referral commission.

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