The Missing Link To Actually Letting Something Go

Originally Posted Sept 24, 2015

Okay so I want to get a little real for a minute and discuss what letting go actually means.

Because in theory it sounds simple enough, but it’s not actually that easy to do.

How do you not care, or give up, or walk away from something that you really want, or even the stuff that you don’t want but for some reason you can’t seem to drop.

So what’s a girl to do?

Other people have no problem dishing out advice when it comes to this stuff. The all-time favourite one that I hear over and over in my practice. “If you stop “TRYING,” move on, then you will magically become pregnant”. And to be honest, I have seen this occur a lot, BUT when a women is smack dab in the middle of despair that she didn’t get pregnant this cycle, Trying to let go and move on is really not in the realm of possibility at the moment.

Letting Go is a process, it requires the utmost authenticity and just can’t be faked. Until the Heart has embraced it, detached itself from an outcome, it’s just words.

Now What?!

Enter the Metal Element and the pendulum from Grief to Letting Go

I wanted to discuss this topic, this week in particular because with the Fall Equinox having just occurred. The Metal Element is ready for us to LET IT ALL GO.

In the cycle of the Elements, the Metal Element can sometimes be considered the last one because it’s where things die. Sounds grim but it’s not, (again it’s all perception). We collect the harvest and bounty from our labours in Spring and Summer and what remains is taken in by the earth. The Leaves change and fall to the ground so that the trees can go dormant to survive winter. Nature let’s it go so that it can be reborn and brought back to life in the spring.

Emotionally, the Metal is all about Grief and it’s action is to cry. Do you see where I’m going with this?

If there are aspects of your life that you need to let go of, now is the time to go there.

This can be Outcomes, Limiting Beliefs, the "HOW's" of how something HAS to happen. Metal is here to support you. If you need a little prompting to get this process going Click here and scroll to the bottom of the post.

Once you’re willing to take a little dive into this, which I highly encourage you do as I’m willing to guess you’re spending a great deal of time letting your fears of an outcome not happening preoccupy your time.

Not finding your true love, not getting pregnant, being stuck in a job you hate, Never feeling like you did before your kids, or maybe it’s not a the dream that’s taking up bandwidth in your mind. It’s the “I’m not good enough” “I’m unworthy” “My body is broken” “Somebody else will do it better.” Fill in the blank to what ever is screaming out begging for attention in this moment.

Rather than trying to ignore these thoughts and pretend you’re not listening to them….Which you really are. Allow them the space. Bring them to the forefront of your mind and start working with them.

Grieve them.

For the little girl that was made to feel a certain way, for the situation that you’re currently in. Give it the attention that it deserves.

When we grieve, and I mean really grieve, and it comes in waves (hello, I’ve been grieving our decision to not have another baby for over a year) we come into a state of grace, acceptance, and gratitude for the struggle that is occurring.

Gratitude is the Missing Piece to Actually Letting Go of your desired outcome.

BUT, It doesn’t mean you’re giving up on a dream.

If fact, through this process your dream has more flexibility to materialize. It may come to you through a different form, in a different way. It might be bigger and better than what your perceptions have allowed up until this point.

Perhaps, it was in the confines of your limited vision to how it could be a possibility that is blocking it presence from entering your life.

BTW, you can’t fake gratitude either. It comes after you have cried your heart out, so if you’re not ready to do this part, keep going back to grief. It will click when you can authentically say thank you for the struggle, even while you’re still in it.

If your ready for the next step, lets set up a gratitude practice.

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it can be as easy as saying them aloud as you would a prayer, writing them down in a journal, or meditating with them and allowing the sensation of gratitude come over your body.

Spend 5 minutes doing this EVERYDAY! (YES, that small amount of time will change your life).

And there you have it.

Again, you can’t rush this, The Metal Element is 3 months long, So take the next 3 months and give this a try and see if there is a component to your life that has authentically come to peace with the idea of letting it go.

XO Ashley