Real Will Always Trump Perfect
Originally posted Aug 6, 2015
Real will always trump perfect.
"I can’t believe you just shared that!" is a statement that I get all of the time, and the second comment that then follows it is "I love what you’re doing but how do you leave your house?"
It’s true on this space I share a lot, I really don’t hold back and I don’t think there is much that isn’t up for discussion.
Actually it’s all up for discussion once I have found some rooted grounding on what is happening. I only share when I have a perspective on it, when the wound isn’t as fresh and when it’s not just a journal entry full of unprocessed feelings and limiting beliefs.
The reason why is because I am so committed to my belief that women need to stop tearing each other down, that we need to expose ourselves and be real with each other. Only then can we find safety in sisterhood and collectively improve our world.
Getting past the facades of perfectly curated photos (okay I will admit the photos on my blog are professionally done, but you get my point), the Facebook statuses where we share that everything is so great and the world is rosy, while intentionally omitting the struggle or the journey that led us to that perfect moment. It has to stop. We need the behind the scenes, we’re longing for it.
When we do this, we participate in the demise of the feminine and it’s not working for us, it’s keeping us isolated and alone, sitting with the belief that no one will understand, and if they truly saw us, they would abandon us.
Except, It’s in the self-denial of our true expression that we abandon ourselves first.
We’re not seeking support, we’re not finding our community, and we’re not standing together.
Most of the time when I sit down and write, I tap into the resonance that I’m only revealing the crazy that’s in your head as much as it is in mine.
I worry, that I’m a crappy mom (when I know in my heart I am an amazing mom and Little E loves me). I feel uncertain that I’m good at my job (except I have a folder full of baby pictures that proves the opposite), I often wonder about my relationships and if I could show up differently or in a way that would make me more worthy of their kindness, affection and attention.
These worries, aren’t individual, they aren’t just about me. Each and everyone of us navigates through these thoughts in our own way every day. EVERYDAY!
So why aren’t we sharing them. Real trumps Perfect, and WE NEED A LOT OF REAL RIGHT NOW.
As mothers, girlfriends, wives and colleagues, we need to show up for ourselves and each other in a space where we support and are supported.
This is why I share, this is why I bring up the taboo, this is why I’m willing to explore my own depths, so that perhaps you may be willing to go there too.
Maybe you don’t need to be as public about it as I am, but in a conversations with your girlfriends or your mother, or the PTA what would happen if you allowed a little more truth to shine through beyond the “I’m Good, Things are good” verbatim that we all spew out when we first sit down for coffee.
And, If your still asking yourself that question, I don’t worry about leaving my house,
because it’s my truth, it’s not for attention it’s not even for more people to read my blogs, it’s plain and simply me.
Love, Life, Truth & No BS is a commitment that I live by every day. My hope is that in time you will too.
In the comments I would love to hear about areas that you want me to discuss, or share on to help you find your own light to heal so you may be a little more open about your own truth.
XO Ashley