Recalibrating: Flaky vs.Honouring What Is Most True

Originally Posted Apr 6 2016

When someone changes their mind, how do you feel about it?

Does it make you angry, judgemental, or do you accept it with ease. Do you need to know why someone would change their mind, does if help satisfy the justification as to why it’s okay?

When its you changing your mind, how do you feel about it?

Does it initially churn your stomach, make you anxious, have you overthink through everyones possible reactions, do you judge yourself for having no follow-thru, or even call yourself flaky?

Or do you feel grounded when the the right direction and decision reveals itself and you just trust it?

If I’m personally going to change my mind and especially if it affects any one person I’m a mess.

I’m so busy trying to accommodate and hold other peoples POTENTIAL feelings (not even the real ones) my brain and body are overwhelmed. Right away, I’m putting myself down for not following thru. I’m anxious, I’m nauseous, and my head hurts. It’s just too much.

And what often ends up happening is, I just suck it up, I keep going as is and ignore what my heart is trying to tell me. Until I can’t.

At some point I incur a crisis of some sort, the little tap on my shoulder to make a change has turned into a sledge-hammer and then I have no choice but to enact drastic changes that takes everyone by surprise and its like I’m being taken down stream with my head barely out of the water gasping for air.

When it all settles it feels good and grounded and like a gift to be in the perfect place at that time but if I would have just allowed myself to be feel uncomfortable for just a little bit longer the first time around perhaps the journey could have smoother.

It’s a big what if,

But I’ve rode the raging river that destructs everything in its path to deliver me to where I need to be enough times, that there is an awareness when the tap, or inspiration that change is coming that I take notice. And perhaps I shouldn’t shut it down whats coming up so quickly, so that I may see where the river is hoping I’ll flow.

It’s hard. I’m type A, I’m a planner, I like holding true to the path that I deem the most successful and if I’m totally honest I’m a bit judgemental to individuals that change their mind all the time and don’t take other peoples circumstances and feelings into account. (or at least thats my perception of what’s going on, and I’m willing to own that, I still have work to do).

Regardless of what ends up happening, when I hold my PLAN too rigidly or in my case as an Earth Type, over value other peoples feelings as more important than my own, I miss the signs, I don’t allow for the detours that are available to me to transform that same goal and plan into something more true, more profound, more impactful.

Which ultimately leaves me feeling more lost.

While the season of spring is often a time of upward and outward movement to share your dreams and aspirations, never forget that you have complete permission to recalibrate and change it up so that it feels more true. Even after you’ve jumped from rooftop to rooftop proclaiming the way it its.

Even then.

I’m granting myself the same permission.

There are a few changes coming and I will share them when the ideas have become fully formed but for right now, I’m postponing the Inner Alchemy Workshop.

It will still happen, and possibly even in a more impactful way. But not yet.

And if you’re that type of person that requires a reason.

I’m having surgery in just over a week. It’s nothing serious, I’ve known it’s been happening for some time. BUT as the date gets closer the more I feel like I need to take the necessary time to heal and truthfully I don’t know how long that is.

The idea of being overcommitted is scary and I feel like this piece to my journey needs to be completed before I move ahead with more plans.

When my recovery is more clear, then I will be better prepared to share new dates, as well as a revised format of our time together along with a few other things that are coming both to my online space and in my clinic.

In the meantime, take a moment to check in with yourself. Is there anything on your calendar or something that you are doing that doesn’t support who you are or the life that you are wanting to step into? If something speaks up, begin conversing with it to recalibrate and come to a solution or action that feels more true.

XO