The Rebound Effect of People Pleasing

Originally Posted June 2 2016

Any drug or medication that you take and then withdraw from has a rebound effect.

It’s confusing when it happens. For so long you were allergy free or without anxiety due to the fact that you took this amazing little pill once a day.

But then, you decide, "Hey things are feeling good I’ve developed some tools to help me cope I don’t need this drug anymore". So depending on the medication and the assistance of your doctor you wean yourself down or just stop taking it cold turkey.

And then what usually happens. You have a serious rebound effect, where you swear that the symptoms of your condition (which you haven't felt in forever) are a million times worse than you've ever had. You can’t remember it being this bad.

You Immediately think "Maybe it was a mistake....."

Maybe you should just accept the fact that you will have insomnia forever and you just need to be medicated for the rest of your life.

Maybe, but maybe not if you can just make it thru the hangover to come thru to the other side where your tools and practices that you had brought into practice actually do work. They manage your symptoms amazingly well and you really can sleep or whatever was bothering you without needing the medication. It happens....

Even if you rarely take medication you can likely grasp what I’m talking about here.

Now consider for the moment that your need to Please everyone under the sun is your drug of choice.

Taking care of everyones needs and wants, anticipating what you will need to do next to stay ahead. Walking on eggshells or avoiding conversations that could potentially make someone feel uncomfortable. Saying Yes to everything and anything, doing it all most of the time by yourself. You’re the person people go too, you’re the one with the answer, you’re the one that everyone needs.

When we dig a little deeper, what is this People Pleasing treating? Truthfull they're a million and one ways this plays out but they all generally come down to this fact.

A Belief that your Self Worth is dependant on what you do in the world. That other peoples happiness is more important than your own and that one day they will acknowledge you and when that happens you will feel whole.

Except, that belief is so deep, when we’re operating from this space we can’t even hear or take in the acknowledgement at all.

So we just keep going, keep saying yes at the expense of ourselves until we have nothing left to give.

Which brings us to the rebound effect to withdrawing our People Pleasing pattern.

And it’s Angry.

It’s even a little scary as the filter comes off and you just don’t care what you say or who hears it.

People pleasing and our fulfillment of Self Worth shows up in the Earth Element. And to correct it, we need to spend some time in the Wood Element, getting acquainted with our anger.

If this correction comes from being fully depleted. This transition feels extremely awkward. The result is us feeling and being incredibly Bitchy. It doesn’t really care who’s in our path it just needs to break free.

And the aftermath of that type of explosion can be a little catastrophic (it doesn’t have to be, there’s even a way to allow the correction between Earth and Wood to occur with a grounded direction)

But even if it has to come out in this way, and you don’t scare ourselves back to just saying yes to everyone again. The bitchy will eventually settle out and an ability to reside within wood element, feeling empowered to stand in your truth, tending to your own needs and articulating how others may support you and not just the other way around can happen.

A balance can be established in how you choose to foster and tend to others and to yourself.

But the first step is to acknowledge the ways in which your taking care of others not from a place of Love and Service but from either guilt or in hopes of proving to yourself that you are worthy.

Even just doing that, provides the opportunity for much transformation and coming closer to your wholeness and living a life led by your own design.

You Deserve this and so much more!

XO Ashley