Trusting Yourself Over Other Peoples Opinions
Originally posted Oct 29 2015
Do you trust other peoples opinions and advice more than your own?
We all do it. We SEEK, information, options, opinions, advice, we don’t even have to go very far, it’s at our fingertips within a second of thinking, “I want to know….” and we are able to get someones answer immediately.
We are constantly putting our resources externally and downloading other peoples perspective to take as our own.
From how to be a good mom, how to make gluten free muffins, what spiritual direction you should adapt, what you should do about your job, what you put in your mouth or on your body and we can go on and on. The opinions available to us on absolutely everything is inexhaustible!
I’m not saying this is bad, I have found many a great gluten free recipes online, and have read some incredibly brilliant blog posts that have changed the way I do something for the better. BUT, we have to ask ourselves if we are allowing our own perspective, thoughts and inner knowing to even have a chance to speak up.
For me, this became really clear a few months ago.
I’ve been trying some things with regard to my health and my Hashimotos over the last few months. I’ve listened to some really intelligent practitioners and I was doing what they said. It made sense, I wanted the clarity that they had. Linear methodology is addictive and I fall in line every time. I so wanted it to be the FIX. but instead of achieving their result I was a mess.
My rock solid to-the-day cycle was super late 3 months in a row. My appetite was crazy insane I put on weight like I’m hibernating for a long winter, I was irritable and angry which then always leads to the inevitable apathy of just not caring anymore.
The specifics of the scenario are always a little different but the cycle from structure and rigidity through to not giving a crap has happened enough times for me to start to notice it, and so this time I was ready to face it head on.
Naturally, I journaled about it and then had to talk it out with someone that I trust that could see past the places where I get stuck and believe my own feelings while not adding more advice to the mess I found myself in.
And what came out is I default to individuals that operate in an element that is not my strength.
Typically this is whatever Element is next on the circle from your own, and for me as an Earth Type that’s Metal.
Funny, that I’m married to a metal man, and surrounded by metal within my family and in my profession and so this is something that I push up against a lot. I manage most of the relationships in my life well and so some of these dynamics aren’t as hard (like in my marriage). I understand where Sheldon and I differ in our communication/affection and thought processes, which is a really good thing, that understanding allows our marriage to work. BUT areas where I tend to get lost are with Food and my health.
You might be thinking, “AREN’T YOU A HEALTH PRACTITIONER?” and the answer is yes, and I’m incredibly good at my job, but I can't treat myself on my own and I typically look for people that can give me the straightest answer.
Enter a Metal practitioner or Doctor (because that is the predominant element of these professions) and I immediately default to thinking that other people's advice is better because they do it in a way that seems so definite that I start to second guess my own knowing. Especially when it comes to my own health.
Note* Metal and Wood people have an amazing sense of clarity, structure with a heavy dose of righteousness (not a bad thing), they also have an ability to see the world in a rather black and white. This is how their directions become so appealing to the rest of us non metal/wood types.
We dive head first into the programs, the methodology and for a brief time we find success and then our internal knowing starts to scream out and we can't continue. Because we have ignored or disregarded our own requirements during this time, so we fall off the wagon, back slide or start to sabotage the process.
If you're a Wood or Metal individual then its likely that a model designed by Metal or Wood practitioners will work incredibly well for you, most of the ones out there on the marketplace are. Which is why they can get behind it and authentically show you that it works.
But if your not a Metal or Wood, like I am, when I spend too much time in these phases without moving on to complete the cycle, and/or using my own Element's wisdom alongside it my world falls apart, and my results and resolve are short-lived.
It's likely you'll be beating yourself up for having no will-power when actually that's not the problem.
True Change comes from within us, it can't be applied to us. Your answers come from your centre, your knowing. Tweet This
When I am finally able to pick up the pieces I remember, OH yeah I tried this before and it’s not right for me. I re-find my centre and intuitively know what’s right for me. Everything that I really need to know is within, if I am willing to chill for a second and listen.
I’m not saying that you can defer out to trusted practitioners and books, you can’t be your own doctor/therapist/trainer etc. But you have to then take that information and process it, in your brain with your Element type and the way you operate and allow it to evolve as it should.
Sometimes we can borrow another’s thoughts and tools but only if they serve us to evolve and grow beyond them. If we become stuck within the method and rigidities we are left further behind.
So from my last defaulting experience here is what I've learnt. My way, is not clear cut, its curvy and swirly, it has feelings, highs and lows and lots and lots of grey, and when I trust it, and know my centre, it works.
So, I’m asking you to invite the possibility that within your centre you know your next step. Maybe you don’t need to jump on google this week for whatever your inquiry is about. Stop to listen to the voice that knows you best. What is she saying?
XO Ashley