Your Fertility Isn't Your Job
Originally Posted January 16, 2014
Your Fertility Is Not Your Job.
That’s statement may seem a little harsh, but it’s the truth.
There is a fine line between advocating for yourself, becoming educated on how to best navigate the depths of fertility options and treatments and becoming an expert.
What I find among a lot of my patients and women I talk to, is they’re striving for the later and it’s actually hurting their efforts of getting pregnant instead of helping.
How is that possible?
Can’t any information be good information?
The answer to that questions is both yes and no. When you’re relying on Dr. Google there is no individuality to what you’re reading. Some of it is helpful, some is downright not accurate and most of it doesn’t apply to you and your circumstance.
Now I’m all for education and advocation, it’s a requirement in our current medical system, but it’s really not meant to be done alone.
Everyday, my colleagues and I are in discussion around the latest paper, the latest supplement or herb that has come on the market making new and improved promises as well as comparing notes and treatment protocols for our patients to make us better practitioners and better advocates for you. We’re talking multiple minds, years of experience and lots of debate (we don’t always agree with each other).
There is no way you can spend that much time trying to figure it out late at night on the computer, it just won’t work. Instead, in my experience it makes women second guess everything and disconnect them from their bodies even more, spend way more money on supplements and treatments than they actually need, and become really frustrated and a huge ball of nerves. We’re talking serious sensory overload.
Your fertility and the path to pregnancy is not meant to be your job, you already have one, and I’m sure like most of my patients you are incredibly successful at it.
Your fertility, babies and kids don’t work the same way. They’re an expression of life and joy.
So if it can’t be your job then what do you do?
Ask for help, find someone you trust and keep asking questions.
As I said this journey is not meant to be done on your own. Find Doctors and Practitioners that you trust. If your second guessing their advice ask more questions, find out why they say what they say with regard to you specifically. Fertility is not a one size fits all. If their answer still doesn’t feel like you are heard, then find a different practitioner that does.
Each of us comes into a relationship with someone else with a set of values, a way of thinking and a way of taking in information. There’s a reason why you picked the partner you have and not someone else right? There is no different when it comes to choosing who’s going to be on YOUR TEAM for your fertility and health.
There are lots of times when I meet with a new patient and we just don’t connect. We try for a little while, but if the chemistry isn’t happening we discuss and I refer them to a colleague. Of course this referral isn’t just anyone, I refer them to someone who I know ‘knows their stuff’ and has a personality and style that I think will really support that person and be able to take them to the place of healing and health that they require.
And then there are patients that walk in my door, and I know that I will probably treat for as long as I’m doing acupuncture beyond just getting them pregnant because we’re such a good fit and they trust me.
This is where you should be putting your efforts. Finding your TEAM, be choosy, ask as many questions as you need to determine if they make the cut. Find the people that make you relax and feel like they have it covered. Upon meeting any new patient I tell them to let me be their Dr. Google and then you can get your evenings back to connect with your partner and do something fun.
Another great way of supporting your fertility journey is forums, where you can share your stories both the successes and the heart break.
XO Ashley