Self Permission is the First Step

Originally posted July 16, 2014

This past week, I have had limited child care for Little E. His regular care is closed so I had to modify my client hours and I have been relying on my mom to watch him while I work. It’s been a tough juggle to give Little E my undivided attention, get my work done, attend to my client’s needs and honour my own requirements for living a vibrant, feminine, soulful life.

My old paradigm of doing things would be to just put my head down, cancel or put off activities that I wanted to do for the week. I deemed them selfish and felt that they didn’t benefit anyone else other than me. I would experience anxiety thinking about how it would take time away from my family and my work, they just weren't worthwhile.

I’m sure every woman can relate to this belief at some point in their lifetime. Or if you’re wrestling with this currently, IT’S NOT TRUE.

I could have sunk back into the same pattern, become overwhelmed and done nothing, instead I got creative. I realized that I couldn’t do everything, so I got really clear on what I wanted to do, I wanted to make sure that I did something for myself every day. It just required permission. Not from anyone else I needed to give myself permission; I was worthy of my desires and I was allowed to ask for help.

The biggest desire I had was to be able to go to my regular workout with my trainer and friend Shauna Sky. I didn’t want to miss another week given we were away on holidays the week before and I felt a strong need to come home to my body, so I asked if Little E could come.

It probably wasn’t the most fun hour of his life, but he explored the gym, threw every size of exercise ball around the room and even had a few rides on the Pilates Reformer while I got a workout. The workout wasn’t the most strenuous and it certainly had interruptions but I got it in, I honoured my desire for movement we all survived and had some fun.

Another desire was for a little time for me. I had planned a short client day and asked my mom if I could have an extra couple hours when I was finished so that I could journal, make a relaxing lunch and take in the summer sun. On the nights my husband took care of bedtime I headed out for a Soul Walk with Lily and then made myself a cup of tea to relax.

My choices of activity weren't grand but they make me whole, they allow me to connect with my soul, delve into my femininity and provide me with a vibrancy to give back to my husband, Little E and my clients. They aren’t selfish at all.

Self Permission is the first step, after that it’s just putting the pieces together to make it happen.

In the comments I would love to hear if Self-Permission is something you struggle with? How do you get over the hurdle and honour your desires? If you were able to give yourself this gift what would you create, achieve, do?

XO

Ashley