Big Dreams, I’m mean really BIG DREAMS! scare me. I wish this wasn’t the case. I remember a time when this wasn’t so. I was a lot younger, and you couldn’t change my mind or take me off course if I had a vision for what I wanted. I just put in the work to get there.
I didn’t think about it, or think about my feelings, they were already on board ready for the ride. I would stop at nothing to put in the hours and practice to have my vision come to life.
I used to draw out team jackets and medals that I wanted to earn, spend hours visualizing my programs to perfection and feeling into my body as to what standing on top of the podium would feel like.
But, like all things when I got a bit older, my world got more complicated. There were more working parts, often other people had to be on-board and work just as hard as me so that I could strive for what I wanted, and sometimes I didn’t get there. Not because they or I didn’t put in the blood, sweat, and tears. We did, I did. For whatever reason it wasn’t in the cards, perhaps not part of my destiny.
And with each swing and a miss, the Big Dreams, the ones where your voice cracks when you feel compelled to share it aloud, yeah those ones, they have a tendency to evoke overwhelm and me running in the complete opposite direction.
And its not because I don’t want them to happen.
I just want them so BAD, that I don’t even know where to start. I’m scared that I’ll get to have or be it. I’m terrified that I won’t, and it will be one more thing that slips thru my fingers.
Have you been there?
Your heart feels like it could pump out of your chest, and yet you’re also paralyzed unable to move.
For so long, I stood in this space, wanting to create the life that I wanted and yet year after year I would find myself almost in the exact spot, questioning WHY? Why do I want this so bad? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? It’s good I’m good, why isn’t it enough?
My heart breaking, with each doubt and longing to settle and that dream still surfacing in my dreams, writing and moments of solitude.
So with that, the journey has begun. Slowly. OH SO SLOWLY.
But that’s okay, because small steps lead to great distances.
Taking the essence of that big dream, and asking myself, what comes first has been my entry point to beginning.
I wish I could say its more mystical and prolific than that, but it just isn’t.
What is my first steady step?
What can I do today, that helps me make one more step closer to that big dream?
And then I show up for it.
Sometimes the steady step doesn’t even look like anything to anyone else but me. Confronting a pattern or old belief that I’ve been given the opportunity to heal thru my action of stepping forward.
Those days, they don’t look pretty, but they are so powerful and often the activation that propels me several steps forward with almost no effort. So I invite them in as they become available and yet expect nothing from them other than what they are in that moment.
Its been everything, and its working.
My first draft of my book is almost complete. Its almost a real thing, that of course will get rewritten a few more times, but nonetheless, its something that someone else is going to read in only a few weeks.
A year ago, I set the course for this vision, this aching from my soul wouldn’t go away it was yearning to be expressed, tired of just talking and thinking about it. Now its making its way out of me into form.
So now it’s your turn. What is your soul longing to create, do or strive for?
I invite you to spend some time with this question and see what arises, and when you know what it is ask yourself,
What is my first steady step?
Allow your intuition to guide you.