I’ve been spending a lot of time listening to my own desires bubble up, places where I would like to achieve more flow and ease tension, I’ve also been privy to this internal dialogue among my clients and colleagues.
In fact, this past weekend I attended the Integrative Fertility Symposium. I go every year, I get to learn new things happening in our field, get reacquainted with the classics, catch up with old friends and meet new health practitioners.
Its really fun, tiring, you download a ton of new information in a very short period of time, but I love going.
What I also love, about this weekend, now that I’ve gone each year since its inception, is taking a step back and noticing my own evolvement as a practitioner, each year how I’ve made shifts to becoming more in alignment to my truth and how I’m meant to practice medicine.
And then listening to other practitioners experiences both seasoned and relatively new as they try to navigate the balance of pleasing others, building practices, create offerings such as programs and books and take care of themselves
The openness of practitioners discussing that they want something more, that their burnt out from the mechanics of both treatment and practice building, wasn’t really a conversation that we had a few years back, but its starting to surface, and more and more of us are wanting to align practicing medicine with our souls mandate and its truly inspiring.
I came home excited about these conversations and also a little ungrounded as some of my own tensions within my work became very apparent. Particularly in the realm of compromise.
We all have an ideal. What appears to be the perfect flow of a day, the time to spend in reflection, ritual and self care. Expansiveness to be in community and with our loved ones… the list goes on.
And then we begin the process of putting up walls as to why that ideal schedule or expression isn’t possible. From the practitioner side of things its always time, schedules and making a living…its always the numbers!
My thought is that those same 3 things are in some way the same walls that everyone has to interface with.
But it got me thinking. If you’re struggling, If you haven’t met your goals yet all while trying to please everyone and leaving out all of the other parts of yourself in order to meet some perceived goal..
Is it possible that the Compromising of your flow and full expression is the very cause to why you’re still struggling to meet your goals and not the solution to making it all happen.
I mean lets face it, as soon as you meet your perceived goal you will have fulfilled your confidence enough to change your schedule to your ideal, booking that yoga retreat, create better boundaries, release your blog, etc. ect. ect.
So what would happen if we just did it and started from this place choosing to live in full expression of our self and allowed the “work and clients” to come into to support it.
I know what I’m proposing is so backwards to what we have been taught and conditioned to believe as the trajectory of success and getting everything that you want.
But what if, its the very medicine that you need to heal the struggle and suffering.
I mean can it get any worse? If you’re in a place of tension, resistance, struggling what do you have to lose?
And before, your mind answers with a million and one worst case scenarios, take a breath and notice if they really are any worse than what you’re experiencing right now, in this present reality.
You don’t have to make all of the changes at once, you can if you want but start with something that moves you closer to the life that you envision for yourself without waiting for a particular dollar amount, or number of patients/clients to appear.
Why not build something that has the foundation that supports that life and your bigger vision for your life now over a structure that you’re going to have to knock down at some point to make room down the road.
Rather than bandaid the current struggle that you’re currently experiencing. Why not lean into it and see what it offers you as a real solution. Let your heart speak up in this space and listen..
It has the answers your looking for, close your eyes and ask whats first. She’ll tell you and then start.
With each step, notice where struggle dissolves and where your heart dances, and please share with me how it unfolds.